Letting Your Values Light the Way
Reflecting on my values during my summer trip in Japan
When a new year unfolds, it’s natural to reflect on what we want for ourselves. Many of us feel the impact of external pressures and digital noise. It's easy to lose touch with ourselves and what matters most. And when we feel lost and disconnected, returning to our values can offer a steadying anchor.
Why Do Values Matter?
Values are like a north star. They're an internal compass of principles that guide our choices. They allow us to clarify who we are and what we stand for on a subconscious level. When we identify and intentionally make decisions based on our values, it can help us feel more grounded in uncertain times.
Values are prominent in the world of psychology. An evidence-based modality known as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), emphasizes how making choices rooted in our values can increase our motivation and commitment to the necessary steps towards growth. When our actions align with who we are, it becomes easier to make decisions that resonate. This approach can be valuable in helping to overcome resistance and actually creating the change we seek.
The reason this can be effective is because values are a reflection of what is most important to you, whether it’s honesty, kindness, growth, courage, freedom, or shared humanity. They indicate what we hold dear in our relationships, decisions, and the way we navigate the world.
For example:
Growth: You’re driven by a desire to learn and improve, even during setbacks.
Honesty: You prioritize openness and truth, even when it’s uncomfortable.
Kindness: You aim to meet others with compassion, no matter the circumstances.
When life pulls you away from these principles, it’s natural to feel stuck, stressed or disconnected. Interacting with family, work, or other communities with differing values can feel deeply conflicting and disheartening, especially when it clashes with what feels true to you.
How to Reconnect With Your Values
A way to reconnect with our authentic selves is to identify our values and ways we may not be living in alignment with them. Taking a step back allows us to view our life from a big-picture perspective, much like pulling back an arrow to assess where we can aim our energy, decisions, and actions. Pull up a list of values (such as this one via Brene Brown) and ask yourself the following:
Which of these words do I gravitate towards?
Which of these words feel the most important to me?
Which principles guide the choices I’m most proud of?
How we view ourselves and what we truly value can differ. Your values may not always match what others expect of you, and that’s okay. This exercise is about discovering what resonates with you.
Once you have a clearer sense of your values, begin to weave them into your everyday life. It can be as simple as choosing to communicate with more honesty or honouring your need for rest to support your personal growth. These small choices can lead to consistent changes and bring us closer to creating a life that feels authentic with who we are.
Finding Liberation Through Values
Living honestly means letting your values shape your actions even when it’s the harder path. This means to lean away any desire to execute this "perfectly" and being intentionally grounded in what truly matters to you.
There will be times when it’s easier to go along with others’ expectations or sidestep discomfort. However, choosing to honour your values in these moments can bring a sense of liberation that feels deeply meaningful.
It’s a brave and messy process that isn’t straightforward. But, each step brings you closer to living in a way that feels true to who you are and finding belonging within communities that align with your values.
Honouring my value of intentionality, slowly sauntering through the streets of Kyoto
Acknowledging Your Humanity
Reconnecting with your authentic self and living in alignment is an ongoing journey. In the stages of trauma recovery, this reconnection work is called post-traumatic growth. It requires dedication and regularly checking in with ourselves. The deeper sense of clarity, purpose, and connection is possible and worth pursuing.
If you’re ready to start exploring your identity and how to move towards a more authentic, fulfilling life, please don’t hesitate to get in touch through a free consultation to see if working together feels right for you. In the meantime, wishing you well on your journey of self discovery.
With care,
Rachel